Why It Matters What You Call It

I had a 2.5 hour drive from Houston to Austin today, and I spent more than half of it on the phone with a friend of mine. She stays at home and wanted some advice on how, if it's not my #1 desire, do I do it. She wouldn't mind me telling you that she was upset, frustrated and needed a minute to vent. And there was a lot of steam built up! I let her do that and then we had a talk. A real talk. The kind that doesn't just let the rant out; it fills the space back up.

The truth I had to tell her is that her problem is not the laundry or the cooking or her husband's work schedule or his insensitive comments. (They honestly don't know sometimes, girls. They say stuff and only when they see the reaction on our faces do they know they've gone somewhere they can't get back from.) I've been where she is, and I know it feels easier to yell about those things. But the problem is not what you do. It's what you call it.

If you call it laundry, you feel like the maid of the household and no one appreciates you. If you see it as making sure everyone has clothes to wear and that task is out of the way so family time is maximized, you did something pretty great.

If you see it as raking leaves that will just fall again tomorrow, it feels meaningless. If you call it caring for the home you've been blessed enough to live in, you realize many people don't have a yard to rake.

If you feel like a chauffeur, well...somedays that's what it is. So call it time to talk about stuff they may not sit still for at home.

If cooking is a chore, it feels like just that. If you call it providing health for people you love and managing resources instead of eating out all the time, it's kind of a big deal.

What did you do today? If it feels like you don't stack up against your friend who wears a suit and flies to New York, if you feel like you aren't productive because you don't get a paycheck each week, if you feel blah because you haven't made it out of the yoga pants for two (or three) days, maybe you need a gut check. What are you calling it?

Here's what I call it.
If you're still married...
If the house is still standing...
If the dog wasn't shaved...
If your kids know a letter or word today that they didn't yesterday...
If someone only peed on the floor once...
If you made it (even if you were late)...
If no one died...

...then they know I love them enough to do what isn't easy.

I call that victory! Success of the highest order! Deserving of a cookie...and a margarita...or 3

What do you call it?