Curly Qs and Crazy Hair

I feel like my life is a curly Q. I see some people's lives and get so jealous. While they went from A to B to C to D, I went from B back to A to D back to C... I am slightly obsessive compulsive, so I want my life line to be neat and orderly rather than an endless spiral. Don't get me wrong. I'm moving in the right direction. I'm just apparently as fond of loop-de-loops in life as I am on roller coasters. One of my loops was documented a few weeks ago when I talked about my hair. Tempted for most of my life to cut or style my hair based on what I thought I was supposed to do, there's a new freedom in having hair that I love regardless of what anyone else thinks about it. Took a lot of years and a very drastic faux hawk, but I made it! And this week God gave me a new perspective on all those curly Qs of life.

Yesterday was Crazy Hair Day at Brynna's school. I know this now. I did not know this Monday morning as I meticulously braided BG's hair. My first clue was the little girl we walked in behind whose entire head was painted pink. My next 3 clues were teachers with spiked pig tails, messy heads and long, orange extensions. (I know. I'm quick on the uptake.) I looked around and felt that drop in the stomach. I thought of all the times I felt left out as a kid - all the times I wanted to be like everyone else. My mistake was going to result in BG feeling sad and that's enough to hurt any mom's heart.

I looked at the mom next to me and said "So I missed that it's Crazy Hair Day?" She confirmed and then quickly came to the rescue. She said she had extra in the car and asked if Brynna wanted to put green glitter spray in her hair like Andrew. Oh my gosh, relief! I wanted to kiss her. Right there in the Methodist Church lobby. But then came another kind of relief. Brynna looked up at me like I wasn't quite getting it. (And really? Can we blame her?) She said, "No thank you. I like my hair just like it is." I explained that she may be the only one without funny hair, expecting her to respond with the desire to fit in. Instead, she said again, "No. My hair looks good like this."

Something it took me years to learn, she has mastered before Kindergarten. And today as I thought about it again, I realized that all my curly Qs are worth it if her path is straighter. If my fumbling results in her having a more level road to travel, it makes it feel a little more ok.

A little. I'm still a recovering perfectionist.
And we are right on top of Hat Day tomorrow, make no mistake about that!