Airport Observations

As most moms, I am rarely without at least one member of my family. A few months ago, I was blessed to take a girls trip to Dallas all by my lonesome. And in the rare moment of bliss, I started a list. It's not deep. It's not politically correct. But as I watched people in the airport, these were my observations of the world passing by...

• Grown men should never wear a backpack with dress clothes
• Children shouldn't pull backpacks with wheels
• Women shouldn't wear (or really own) anything with the word "pack" involved
• Baby talk is synonymous with Chinese water torture
• You only need two pair of white underwear - for necessary purposes. No one's skin is white. You wear white thinking it's nude, but it's not. You need nude or black. We can see your underwear.
• The same goes for all neon, bright-colored, patterned underwear. We can see that. And we don't want or need to.
• Say what you will about Fergie and Jessica Simpson (and I say plenty) but they (or the people they hired in a random stroke of genius) make a dang cute pair of platform pumps
• Levi's, Wrangler, Lee Jeans and every other denim manufacturer responsible for "mom jeans" should be held liable for punitive damages. Women are walking around feeling bad about themselves unnecessarily. If you stop sewing them, people will stop buying them. Granted, we will have to wait 27 years for the ones already in circulation to die a painful death, but it's a step in the right direction.
• For your health and mine: I should never be able to hear the words of your music while you are wearing headphones.
• Sighing and rolling your eyes at the mother trying to quiet her crying baby on the plane is not actually helpful. I guarantee she wants him to stop crying more than you. And furthermore, she can't hear you. Someone is screaming in her face. Do you want her to apologize to you or exert that effort in calming her child? Your choice.