General Motions I'd Like to Make

Motion: a formal proposal

In official proceedings, suggestions are made by members making a motion and others passing or opposing.  I have a few motions to suggest. 

I move that you have to renew your driver’s license every 5 years.  While it will be annoying for some of us, it will pay off in the long run when those who shouldn’t be behind a steering wheel are removed from play.

I move that you have to take – AND PASS – a test before procreating.  Some people just shouldn’t be allowed to be parents.

I move that shopping malls and retail stores be open until 10pm.  I know this means extra work for some and for that, I apologize.  But putting little people to bed cuts into prime time.

I move that we abolish time zones.  I honestly don’t know what effects that would have socially, economically or meteorologically but it’d help me when dialing overseas.

I move that the price of a movie ticket include a complimentary blanket.  If it’s going to be that cold in there, I need a Snuggie.

I move that the marriage covenant actually be binding as it was designed. 

I move that sick days and personal time be an official part of the stay-at-home mom job posting.  We don’t have to get crazy.  I’m talking 10 days out of 365.  (Who am I kidding?  I’d take 1 day.)

I move that Dr. Pepper be as readily available as Coke.  No, root beer does not suffice as a substitute.

I move that beanie babies (an other such nonsense) be disallowed from automobile back windows.

I move that mall play areas work like church nursery.  I’ll take a number, you ensure my little one is safe and I’ll be at Nordstrom.

All those in favor say “aye.”