Operation Not a Bum: Day Four

I didn't post after yesterday's class because I was scared. I'm still a little scared now, if I'm honest. I don't think Beth reads my blog. But what if she does?! What if she reads this and plans our workouts accordingly?! Well here goes. Here's the big news I'm scared to put in ink. I'm not that sore. (It's better to whisper...just in case.)

We started class like we always do - with cardio. Beth reluctantly allowed everyone to do cardio inside instead of outdoor running, and by 'reluctantly', I mean she sighed and said "I guess go get on a machine." Head down, pencils up. (Or knees up. Whatever.) That's all I was thinking. I scrambled to the ellipticals and got moving. But in my attempt to find the machine with the working heart rate sensor, I made a major mistake. I chose a machine, started moving and tested the heart rate sensors. Of course...they didn't work. There was no way I was getting off with Beth right there, so I went to Plan B.

Plan A is the machine keeps my heart rate in the right range by adjusting the level as I go. Plan B is Regina competing with Regina. Never a fair fight. Plan B means I arbitrarily choose a speed and don't allow myself to drop below that. Ok...maybe it's not arbitrary. Maybe I look at what speed the people around me are going and try to stay above that. Point is - I beat Betty. She did not know we were racing, but I won. And as usual, my little competitive streak ended in me working harder than I thought possible to prove my point. I don't think I've worked that hard on the ellipticals yet. Of course, now I have a new target speed to beat, so let's hope I don't pass out next time when I happen to get on the machine next to some high-schooler training for track.

My grave mistake, though, was not working harder. I'm actually beginning to buy the line that that was good for me. The mistake was when I looked up. I was so intent on finding the machine, then not getting off the machine, then seeing Betty's speed, then staying above Betty's speed...that I didn't look at the little TV attached to the elliptical. The remote was hanging over the bar just out of my reach and the TV was tuned to Benny Hinn! I raced Betty that whole way while Benny smacked people and spoke in a montage of light-colored suits with buttons all the way up the neck. Where do those suits come from, anyway?

And a side note - someone should monitor the channels gyms are allowed to receive and air. I looked past Benny to the big TV on the wall and what do I see? Rachel Ray? Really? While I'm running my little heart out trying to leave behind the Taco Bueno I ate the day before, someone thought the Food Network would be a good idea? I'd like to talk to that someone. I'd like to tell him (cause you know it was a him) a thing or two about women, food and being forced to sweat.

So anyway, after I beat Betty, it was time for weights. I may have toothpicks for arms, but my little arms are as feisty as I am. I curled and pressed and worked my triceps with as much or more weight as the rest of the group with not too much pain. Legs on the other hand - still my nemesis. We did stationary lunges, squats and a side-to-side thing that hurt my bum. And then...we were done. Our hour was up and although I wasn't happy, I was able to walk to get Brynna. I didn't even have to get a drink at the water dispenser first. (By the way...getting a drink is code for "I'm too tired to do more or walk to get my kid, so I'm going to stand here and rest but look like I'm getting a drink." You know you've done it. Don't lie.) I even made it to the car without a leg giving out on me.

So you can see me dilemma. If it didn't hurt as bad, maybe I need to increase my workout. Whoa! What did I just say? I think I had an out-of-body experience. That wasn't me. Pretend I never said it. Certainly don't tell Beth I even thought it.

Seriously.

Don't tell Beth.