Harder Than It Should Be

This is kind of stupid. And pathetic. Have you ever found yourself somewhere and wondered how you got there? Have you looked around and thought "this is the exact place I never wanted to be"? I'm there and the walls of this room I find myself in are plastered with logos...

And the logos are all lit up in neon. Like Vegas. It's loud and overcrowded and I'm glaringly aware that I don't know most of these people. Of those I do know, I like maybe half of them. Of that half, few have my actual phone number and like 6 have been to my house. I feel like I'm standing in the corner, with my hands over my ears wondering what on earth all these people have to talk about at the same time. And why, for the love of all that's holy, are they yelling?!

I just want to make the bad man stop.

So, the question is obvious: why not leave? Believe me. I've asked myself that a hundred times. And in my defense, I started this with my acknowledgment that it's pathetic. I sit in that loud, annoying room, wishing I wasn't there because They told me I'm supposed to. They said it's the best way to stay connected to people. They said if I don't, I'll miss out because this is the way the world works in today's culture. They told me that I'll lose touch. They told me that if I don't yell louder, no one will hear me.

But I don't feel heard. I feel lost in noise. I don't feel informed. I feel like 17 people are screaming completely opposing opinions. I don't even feel connected. I feel competitive.

So it's all of that chatter in my head that's led me to realize that while I could give up my beloved Dr. Pepper for Lent...

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Lent is the season before Easter when many Christians give up something meaningful as a form of self-discipline. We emulate Jesus's example (He fasted in the desert 40 days) and focus on how special it is that He not only died but overcame death and rose again. The day we celebrate He rose is Easter. Easter is 40 days from now. That means today I decide what I'm going to go without for the next 40 days...
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... or I could not eat meat or fast from another food item, while I could go without a lot of things, the thing hardest to let go of is this. To walk out of this room that I don't even fully enjoy. And to be completely honest, this is way harder than it should be. I'm embarrassed that I had to remove the apps from my phone to keep me from checking them out of habit or lack of self-control.

Normally when I fast during Lent, I know that each time I think of _______ (whatever I gave up), I am reminded of Jesus, His sacrifice and what Easter means. The more integral to my daily life, the more often that happens. This year, though, we haven't even officially started and I'm realizing that I won't just be reminded of Jesus but I might be able to hear Him better. Stepping out of the noise of this room means He's not fighting for my attention. And really...He created the Universe. Should He have to compete with a youTube video of bad lip reading NFL clips? No. He shouldn't. (Although the lip reading is HI-LARIOUS)

So, here I go. This is way harder than it should be, but I'm leaving the room. I'll write, so I hope you check in with me here. And if you do, leave a comment or share what moves you...because I won't be on social media to share it myself! lol

Start now and let me know what you are giving up for Lent...or if social media feels like a keg party gone wrong to you, too...or if you've seen the NFL lip reading video. (seriously. it's so freaking funny)