Sep 1, 2010

6 Steps to Potty Training (or at least laughing while you potty train)

When and if you are next potty training a 17-month-old, please follow these instructions...

1.  Remove diaper and watch her go.  Brynna has been showing the signs she's ready to nix the diapers, and my checkbook was in agreement.  So Saturday morning, we got up, took the diaper off and away we went.  I read that going no-diaper helps you see when they are going and it removes the step of taking off the diaper when trying to get there fast.  Right.  It does those things.  It also ensures you have a 2-foot-tall streaker in your house.  I have never seen someone so excited to run naked in all my life.  (And I've seen that guy in Austin who sits naked on the corner playing his guitar!)

2.  Place potty seat on a surface that can easily be wiped clean.  I am one of those people who doesn't believe in child-proofing the house.  I believe in house-training the child.  My breakables aren't put away; my glass vases weren't replaced with primary colored plastic wear when BG entered the scene.  I don't even like the word "potty" so it pained me to have one sitting in the middle of the sun porch.  Since then, the potty seat has followed us.  It has resided in every bathroom, my bedroom (on a plastic pad), the family room and poolside.  I still refuse to let it in the kitchen, though.

3.  Give lots of juice.  I was told repetition would help drive the point home.  Yes.  Or it gives me a new appreciation for Clorox wipes.  One or the other.

4.  Don't wear anything you might, possibly, someday ever want to wear again.  While I  did laundry and got the house back in order this weekend, David and Brynna played.  They stayed pretty close to the potty seat and wipeable surfaces until Daddy got brave.  They were talking to Honey K on the phone when I heard a frantic, "Mom, I'm going to have to call you back!"  I turned to find BG reading a book and David wet from chest to knees.  (She has a strong core and great bladder control.  When it comes, it comes with a vengeance.)  I've worn a lot of gym shorts and tank tops this week...

5.  Reward good behavior.  Be aware that offering M&M's from the freezer might cause a 20 minute session of screaming at random points in the day where your child yells, "Treat!  Treeeeeat!" and bangs on the refrigerator door.

6.  Laugh.  A lot.  We've had a number of accidents this week, and while I tell her that pee-pee doesn't belong on the floor, I can't help but smile when she stands there pantless petting the dog while I clean up the floor.  And yesterday, when she sat on the potty seat next to the pool and later opted for no swim suit...that's funny stuff.  At one point today, I stood laughing at my little lady sitting on her potty seat with a stack of books next to her, Minnie Mouse panties around her feet.  At another point, I hugged her while she cried because she needed to "poo-poo" but doesn't yet understand fully that she controls the ability to do so.  She didn't want to get up, she just needed some TLC.  So I sat on the floor with my arms around her while she sat on her potty.  Now that's funny.  And an image I will carry with me forever.

I have dreaded potty training since before Brynna was even here.  I was the director of children's ministry and witnessed every step of the process in hundreds of kids.  I didn't enjoy the view from a distance, so I didn't anticipate the up-close and personal view being any better.  It's definitely as gross as I imagined, and I'm really ready to pass this hurdle.  But I wouldn't trade going through it with her for the world.

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