Love Simply

Simplicity.  Love.

Love is not complicated.

Love is simple.

But it’s difficult, and people confuse the two.

Simply – love means always, unconditionally, no matter what.

There’s nothing confusing about that.

The problem is – it’s hard.

When he hurts you, it’s hard to love.

When she’s difficult, those three words are costly.

When you’re tired, love doesn’t come easily.

When it’s not fun anymore, when you aren’t “feeling” it, when you’re distracted by something more shiny and new…

Love is hard.

Love is action fueled by choice. 

Feelings aren’t enough to sustain love.

Moods won’t last.

Choice – “I love you”

Action – I love you

Always, unconditionally, no matter what.

The other day, Brynna and I said ‘goodbye’ to Daddy and went for a walk.  Fifteen minutes later, Daddy already missed us and came to join the fun.  As though she hadn’t just been with him, Brynna took off running, yelling, “Daddy here I come!”  God loves you so much that any time apart sends Him clamoring back for more.  He’s waiting at the end of your steps to pick you up and carry you the rest of the way.  Always.  Unconditionally.  No matter what.

REmind

Ok, girls.  We need to have a chat.  There is an issue and it needs addressing.  Mom-guilt, Girl-guilt or just plain Guilt.  It’s gotta go.

Guilt is defined as “the fact of having committed an offense or crime.”  Did you read that, sister?  Read it again if you need to.  To be guilty there has to be fact that you committed an offense.  In short, you broke a rule.  When you go to work and your baby girl goes to the daycare you have meticulously chosen for her, what rule did you break?  When you take a day off to reconnect with your sanity, what offense was committed?  When you actually finish your plate instead of sharing it with at least one other person, what fact is there of a crime? What was that?  Speak up.  I couldn’t quite hear you.  Did you say none?  Say it louder.  None.  NONE!  You know why?  You aren’t guilty of anything!

As girls, the thoughts that race through our minds can be overwhelming.  They begin going in one direction and before we realize what’s happened, we are 1,000 miles off course.  You started out thinking about your career and ended up flooded with guilt that you aren’t at home with your kids.  You begin to think about a new pair of shoes only to find yourself surrounded by knives of condemnation that you should be thinking about others instead of yourself.  Like an unmanned boat in open water or a Mac truck on the interstate with no driver, your mind was not made to run on its own.  Disaster is the only outcome probable if you turn a boat on full throttle but then don’t steer.  A truck with no destination and no guidance will destroy most everything in its path.  Your mind is powerful.  It’s creative and intelligent.  It can hold a wealth of knowledge and yet be compassionate and kind.  But if you don’t own it, it will own you.  That’s when guilt happens.  So what do we do?  We have to learn to remind ourselves – to REmind – renew your mind.

Start with what you feel.  Whatever it is, it’s ok. You’re allowed to be mad, sad scared or hurt.  But the problems come when we stop there – when we focus only on what we feel and go no further.  Replace what you FEEL with what you KNOW.  Redefine what a successful day looks like.  Rewrite the imaginary rulebook your mind has confused. In doing so, you are steering.  You are telling your mind where to go instead of letting your thoughts drive you to a place you never intended to visit.

So grab a pen and some paper.  Allow your feelings a moment to breathe.  Write them down.  Own what you feel.  Remember…it’s ok.  Then start writing what you know.  If you struggle with this part, start with these…

You can KNOW…

You are a daughter of the King*

You are allowed to make a mistake*

You are loved*

You are blessed to be a _______________ (wife, mom, doctor, agent, friend, sister, etc)

Your need for rest doesn’t mean anything other than you’re human

You were uniquely designed for the life God’s called you to live

You are beautiful

*If these confuse you, then there’s one more step.  Grab a Bible or go online to YouVersion.com.  Read the book of John.  It’s true you aren’t perfect.  You can KNOW that.  You can also rest in the fact that you can stop trying.  It’s never going to happen.  Being imperfect means you can’t get there (to God, Heaven or anywhere) on your own.  Jesus loves you more than you or I will ever comprehend and He did all the legwork.  He made a way; you just have to Admit you aren’t perfect, Believe He is and Confess that He gets to be in charge.  It’s as easy as A, B, C!  (Then call, text, facebook or email me.  We have a serious dance break to do!!)

Flowers by Regina

Like flowers, girlfriends are pretty and extravagantly unique.  They thrive in stability but are seen most attractive when found in less than perfect surroundings.  I look at the bouquet of girls God has blessed my life with and I'm in awe at the beauty.  I thought I'd write a poem about it but after looking online, it appears I already have.  I was doing some research and this popped up - "Friendship is Like a Flower" by Regina.

Friendship is like a flower,
Glowing in its glory,
Each and every seed,
Telling its own story.

As each flower blooms,
And then continues to grow,
More of its strength and knowledge,
Continues to show.

And like a garden,
It blooms much more fair,
When carefully tended,
By those who care.

Once in a while,
You come acress a friend,
Who is as beautiful as a flower,
With a good heart to lend.

So I picked this flower,
And pulled it apart,
And soon all its pieces,
Grew into my heart.

But what I realized,
Is that this flower that grew,
Was not leaves and petals,
But pieces of you.

Your love and kindness,
Your strength and power,
Have helped me grow,
Into my own little flower.

And now with our friendship,
I'll never let go,
And we can help others,
To flower and grow.


(Just to clarify...I literally found this just as it is.  I don't know this Regina but she gets an "A" in my book.  And I was a teacher.  I have legal authority to give grades.)