Jan 17, 2012

A Beautiful Child's Mind

I see the world in a whole new way when I look at it as Brynna does.  Kids make sense of the things we struggle with.  Children find simple what we complicate.  Oh, the lessons we could learn if we stop talking and just listen to their minds work...

  • Make sacrifices for others - Brynna is potty-trained but still wears a pull-up for nap and bedtime. She got home from school the other day and went to use the bathroom.  When she called desperately for me to come help, I found her struggling to get her pants down.  She was still wearing the pull-up from nap time and had panties on UNDER the pull-up.  I asked what she was doing; she knows better than that.  She said, "Mom, I just needed my panties on like this.  Minnie Mouse wanted to be close to me."
  • You can never be too cautious - Brynna had her doll with us recently and we had to stop for a potty break.  I explained that Baby Doll wasn't big enough use the toilet but could sit on my lap while she waited.  Brynna looked at me with all seriousness and said, "Mommy, do you even know how to be careful with a baby?"
  • Lend a helping hand -   After the above-mentioned trip to the restroom, Brynna picked up her baby and said, "Oh, it's ok.  I know.  I'm here."  (Apparently in those 37 seconds, I had done severe damage for which she needed to compensate.)  Then she turned to me and said, "Ok, Mommy, it's your turn.  Now, let me help you.  It's for big kids, so I'll have to put you on the potty."
  • Think outside the box - I picked Brynna up from school the other day and Ms. Pat informed me that she'd been discussing my work with her friend Kate.  Brynna told them that her mommy sells houses.  Kate responded, "That's silly.  You can't sell houses.  They don't make boxes big enough to put them in."  When I asked Kate about it, she said, "I guess I could help you.  If you get me a box big enough, I'll decorate it so you can put the house in."

And from a generation a bit older than my little lady...
  • Love your spouse.  Be a parent.  Because it matters. - Ed and Lisa Young, our pastors at Fellowship Church, recently did a "Bed-in" where they promoted their new book, Sexperiment, and reached millions of people by spending 24 hours on the roof of the church doing interviews and talking about the importance of having sex God's way.  At one point in the live broadcast, their 4 kids joined them to share their thoughts.  EJ, Laurie, Landra and LeeBeth talked about what it feels like to have their parents so publicly talk about a somewhat embarrassing topic. Rather than being embarrassed, though, 3 of the 4 kids (all young adults) said that seeing their parents work at their marriage makes them feel secure.  It gives them peace to know that they don't have to worry if they'll have a place to come home to.

Oh, the lessons we could learn if we stop talking and just listen to their minds work...

Jan 11, 2012

my prince

There are some decisions in life that you make and regret. There are choices made for you and choices you made so independently that even when you wish you could blame someone else, you're left holding the bag.  There are minor, day-to-day, what-shoes-will-I-wear decisions and major, life-altering, who-will-I-wake-up-to-every-morning decisions.  Your choices determine the direction your life will take.  Your decisions shape you.

Our first date (yes, we were babies...)
When I was young, I made a bad decision.  I chose to please another person to my own detriment.  And I paid a high price.  It left me broken, sad and very, very angry.  Months after meeting David for the first time, he told me that he was terrified of me.  "I was pretty sure you hated men," he said.  I did.  As much as I tried to hate him and put him in the category of person who had so hurt me, I realized something was vastly different about David.  He rarely said what he wanted without first learning my opinion.  Even when it was painful, difficult, costly or inconvenient, my needs always came first.  From what I wanted to eat to the ring he eventually put on my finger...I, and everyone around me, knew that I came first.  That's not to say he is a pushover.  He is strong and confident and unshakingly stable.  But he is patient.  And he's never attempted to rush or push me to get his own way.  After we'd been dating awhile and I tried to force him to leave, he said, "Tomorrow and the next day and the day after that, I'll be right here.  You aren't getting rid of me 'til I'm six feet under and unable to follow you."

He was right.  He didn't leave when I got so sick with headaches I couldn't get out of bed.  He didn't leave when I took out my anger on him although he had never been the cause of my pain.  He didn't leave when the wounds inflicted by others threatened to break our marriage.  He stood still.  He waited.  He rubbed my head and sang silly songs he made up.  He held my hand.  He let me lead; he led.

Shortly after we started dating, David started calling me "princess."  It became such a common name that at times, friends and members of our families have accidentally or jokingly referred to me by my nickname.  It began to sum up everything about us.  I'm not a diva and he's not a wimp.  But he fills my plate before his own, and he drives an old Tahoe so I can drive a brand new car.  He honors me.  He sacrifices for me.  He treats me like a princess not because I've earned it or it will benefit him but because he believes I'm worth it.  And in doing so, he's showing our daughters what it means for a man to love a woman.  He's being an example of the kind of love they deserve.



I didn't know it 32 years ago, but today would change my life.  It was the day God gave the world my prince.  And it's a day I celebrate with gratitude.

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